


What Should Not Be, Is

by FandomStar



Category: Murdoch Mysteries
Genre: (not explicit but it'll always be in my writing of him), Autistic Llewellyn Watts, Brax Does His Best, Domestic, Established Relationship, George Crabtree is a Good Friend, Julia is a Saint, M/M, Period-Typical Homophobia, So does Murdoch, Unintentional coming out, found family (kinda), these tags are all over the place I'm gonna stop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-18
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-03-13 21:49:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29532954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FandomStar/pseuds/FandomStar
Summary: How the people around them came to know of Jack and Llewellyn's involvement
Relationships: George Crabtree & Llewellyn Watts, Jack Walker & His Mother, Jack Walker & Thomas Brackenreid, Jack Walker/Llewellyn Watts, Julia Ogden & Llewellyn Watts, Thomas Brackenreid & Llewellyn Watts, William Murdoch & Llewellyn Watts, William Murdoch/Julia Ogden
Comments: 6
Kudos: 46





	What Should Not Be, Is

**Author's Note:**

> I kinda came up with the title on the spot, it's saved in my docs as "A Discovery of Homos" if you wanted to know  
> Anyway! Some possible triggers are: being outed (unintentionally), some people not being the best about a homosexual relationship due to lack of knowledge (but they aren't openly/explicitly homophobic) and I think that's it but let me know if you think otherwise  
> Hope you enjoy!

Llewellyn woke one morning curled against Jack’s side with his partner’s arms tight and soothing around him. Happily, he nuzzled into Jack’s neck.

That was when a heavy knock sounded against Jack’s door, alerting him as to why he was awake before eight o’clock. Jack groaned.

“Llew?” he mumbled.

“It seems there’s someone at your door.” Llewellyn sleepily told him.

Suddenly on guard, Jack sat up.  _ “Damn, _ yesterday was Monday! Stay here, don’t move.”

Nodding, Llewellyn just rolled over and hugged Jack’s pillow to his chest, listening as Jack hastily pulled on a pair of trousers and threw a robe across his shoulders before tying it around his waist. Without a glance back at Llewellyn, Jack left him in the bedroom. Llewellyn sighed, before hearing the front door unlock and the shout of Jack’s full name.

“Jackson Darrell Walker!”

“Mother, I’m sorry for the worry, I got myself preoccupied.”

“Oh did you now?”

“You know I did, when have I ever abandoned you on Monday dinner?”

There was a pause of quiet.

“Never.” A sigh. “I  _ do _ worry about you sometimes though, Jack.”

“I know, I know.”

Not really thinking, only knowing that he wanted to see something of Jack and his mother, Llewellyn stood and silently found a dressing robe he could pull around himself, in case he happened to be seen. Carefully, he opened a crack in the bedroom door, knowing there to be a direct line of view to the front door without giving any guest a suspicion of anybody watching them. His eyes fell on his lover in the embrace of a somewhat surprisingly short woman with her hair tucked into a hat with no brim. When she pulled back slightly, he saw the wire-rimmed glasses she was wearing. Llewellyn felt a warmth spread through him at the gentle way Jack’s face was touched by his mother, and quickly turned back to return to the bed before he could bring any attention to himself. Unfortunately, he failed to account for his lack of spatial awareness and knocked his foot into a box of shoes -  _ since when did Jack keep his shoes in a box by his bedroom door _ \- and barely kept himself from cursing as he dragged himself as silently as possible to the bed. Mere moments after settling himself, Jack came in.

“Are you okay?” he quietly asked.

“Yes, I’m so sorry if I- she-”

“It’s fine, she didn’t,” Jack was quick to reassure Llewellyn. “I’m sorry too, about this - if I’d realised-”

“Believe me, I understand,” Llewellyn told him, smiling bashfully as he straightened up the collar of the shirt Jack had put on. “Though I should probably be leaving. Or. Getting ready to.”

Passing him his clothes, Jack smiled and kissed his cheek. “You can use the fire escape, but be as quiet as possible.”

Jack swiftly left to return to his mother. Just as swiftly, Llewellyn clothed himself and picked up his hat. Before he could set one foot out of the fire escape, his attention was caught by an incredibly  _ un _ casual question coming from Mrs Walker in a decidedly  _ casual _ way.

“So who’s the young man you were talking to but have yet to introduce me to?”

Understandably, he heard Jack splutter his eloquent response of “what?”

“For goodness’, sake, I’m getting old, not going deaf,” she replied, laughing. “I always did have to do everything myself.”

Llewellyn stayed for a moment, half inside and half out - just to make sure he was there if Jack needed him.

“He… had to leave. Work. We might cross paths if we head to the shop in a bit.” Jack carefully and hesitantly replied.

Satisfied, Llewellyn nodded to himself before heading down the rackety staircase. 

As Jack had speculated, Llewellyn  _ did _ cross paths with his partner and his mother on his way to the station house.

“Jack,” Llewellyn greeted, striding over to meet them. “Fancy meeting you here.”

“Yes. Llewellyn, I don’t think you’ve had chance to be introduced to my mother.” Jack replied.

“I have, in fact, not,” Llewellyn agreed, tipping the brim of his hat slightly and not quite meeting Mrs Walker’s eyes. “A pleasure, Mrs Walker, your son is a fine man.”

Mrs Walker herself grinned. “That I know very well.”

“Um. Hm,” Llewellyn hummed, pulling his hand from his pocket and offering it to her. “Llewellyn Watts.”

Slightly confused, but none-the-less charmed, Mrs Watts took his hand and shook it.

“Ettie Walker. It’s lovely to meet you.”

Still not making eye contact, Llewellyn smiled, pleased.

“Yes. It is. To meet you,” he replied, every ability to speak coherently suddenly leaving his body. “Excuse me. Constabulary calls.” He turned to leave before spinning back and addressing Jack, rubbing at his jaw with his free hand. “See you… some time?”

Smiling, Jack nodded. “Have a good day.”

Without another acknowledgement, Llewellyn turned back and headed in the direction of station house four. Jack continued on with his mother to his butcher’s.

“He’s rather handsome, and quite charming,” she told him. “Although, he’s… is he…?”

Jack chuckled. “He’s fine. And very sane. Just… odd and eccentric, and I like that.”

* * *

Llewellyn twirled a length of yarn around his fingers, sprawled comfortably in the chair at his assigned desk for that week. No new cases had come in, and he’d filled out his paperwork hours earlier. His mind was focused on only the yarn.

“Watts.” a voice behind him said.

Startled, Llewellyn jumped and scrambled to find his footing somewhere - eventually correctly landing on the floor.

“Crabtree. Yes,” he said, turning to his new company with a smile faintly plastered to his face. “What… can I do for you?”

_ “I  _ am needed on patrol. You don’t seem busy, figured I’d ask if you wanted to come with me. Save you from yourself!” George suggested.

Llewellyn raised his eyebrows. “Thoughtful. I’ll come.”

Collecting his hat from its place perched on the desk lamp, he follows George out of the station.

It was a warm afternoon, and George was rambling on about one thing or another as he and Llewellyn strolled George’s patrol path. Llewellyn did feel a bit bad that he wasn’t listening, but he hadn’t anticipated being a sounding board. A voice calling his first name made him stop.

“Llewellyn!”

His eyes widened when he saw Jack approaching. He glanced back to see that George had stopped to let him catch up.

“Jack. I- I’m with constable Crabtree…”

“Oh!” Jack awkwardly waved over at the constable. “I’m not interrupting-”

“No! No. I er. George invited me with him, and I needed to get out,” Llewellyn told his partner. “Was there… something specific you wanted?”

“No, not really. Just wanted to say hi. I’ll let you go off, I need to be back at the shop.”

“Yes. Yes you do,” Llewellyn murmured, looking back at George. “I shall… see you soon.”

Without waiting for a reply, he stalked back over to his friend’s side.

“That was your Mister Walker, wasn’t it?” George asked, eventually.

“What? He’s not mine.” Llewellyn insisted, before he could realise it sounded too defensive.

“Sorry. You do live with him though. Or is that not…”

“Please don’t.” Llewellyn whispered.

“Oh. I didn’t-” George began to reply, before his wrist was held tightly between long fingers

“Don’t talk about it!” Llewellyn snapped, before realising what he’d done, letting go of George’s wrist and quietening. “Please.”

George nodded. “Okay. Come on then.”

Dutifully, Llewellyn followed the constable, until they unexpectedly stopped in a quiet corner. Knowing that George was likely giving him the time to calm himself slightly, he closed his eyes and leaned against the wall.

“I’m sorry,” George said. “I shouldn’t have said anything. I’m sorry.”

“No. Not… nothing to do with you,” Llewellyn reassured his friend. “I shouldn’t have stopped for him. But I couldn’t just leave him.”

Opening his eyes, he saw George’s profile nodding. 

“Suppose I just forget what it’s like for you,” he admitted. “Suppose I can’t… get my head around the idea of hiding like you and Mister Walker have to.”

Llewellyn shrugged. “You’re not the only one here who feels that.” He felt George’s eyes suddenly on him and shrugged again. “I’m still getting used to hiding.”

“You’ve not…?” George asked, seeming surprised at the head shake he got in return. “Well. I don’t see why not, anyone would be lucky to have you in their life.”

It was Llewellyn’s turn to stare in shock. “You- hm. I suppose… Thank you.”

Seeing the detective’s shy smile, George grinned back at him, before gently nudging his arm. “C’mon, we’re supposed to be patrolling.”

Llewellyn hummed in agreement, pushing himself from the wall and ambling at George’s side.

* * *

“This is nice,” Jack whispered against Llewellyn’s lips. “Haven’t had the chance to do this in a while.”

Smiling, Llewellyn pulled him closer again, humming in agreement. “Yes. Just… just us. Just… being.”

He let Jack’s tongue tease its way past his lips, pulling him so that his weight could rest against his body. Jack’s body vibrated with a silent chuckle. As he began to undo the top buttons of Llewellyn’s shirt, there was a sharp knock on Jack’s door, making them freeze. Llewellyn neatened his shirt and collar as Jack stood to do the same to himself. Leaving Llewellyn to make himself comfortable with a heel on the sofa, Jack went to the door. 

“Inspector Brackenreid!” Jack exclaimed, the outburst making Llewellyn immune to resisting the instinct to stare over at the door. “What can I do for you? I assume I’m not up for murder.”

“No. No, don’t worry about that,” Brackenreid assured him, before happening to meet Llewellyn’s stare, making the detective turn away rapidly and attempt to make himself smaller in the corner of the sofa. “Watts?”

Llewellyn’s sharp intake of breath was audible, before he forced himself to his feet, hands stuffed in his trouser pockets.

“Inspector.” he said, eyes focused on Brackenreid’s shoes.

“What’re you doing here?” Brackenreid demanded, not unkindly just confused.

“I uh, am-”

“We kept in touch after Owen’s - Owen Paxton’s case,” Jack interrupted, saving Llewellyn from his own awkwardness. “We get together for dinner every so often.”

Jack gestured to the powered up oven.

“Right. It’s good to see you out the station, Watts.” Brackenreid said, still seeming somewhat baffled.

Llewellyn nodded once, silently, catching himself leaning most of his weight against the slightly precarious sofa and standing up a little straighter, still unable to look up at either man.

“I’m assuming Margaret sent you, Inspector.” Jack said, getting back to business with a smile.

“Yeah, that she did,” Brackenreid confirmed. “She wanted me to make sure you could still deliver her things tomorrow. She’s not at her best and-”

“Anything for my most loyal patrons!” Jack promised. “She should know that! Did you want to come in for tea, or coffee, or-?”

Llewellyn tried, seemingly successfully, to conceal his panic.

“No, no, I should get back to the missus,” Brackenreid replied. “Thank you though. Enjoy the evening, gentlemen. Watts.”

“Inspector.” Llewellyn dipped his head as Brackenreid took his leave. 

As soon as the door was shut, he strode over to Jack and took his face in his hands.

“You are insufferable,” he announced, kissing Jack squarely on the mouth. “What if he had agreed to stay?”

Jack chuckled. “Margaret’s ill, he wouldn’t have even if he wanted to.”

Llewellyn huffed. “Still.”

“Hey,” Jack murmured, tilting his chin. “We’re okay.”

Llewellyn gave him a small smile, before pulling him into a kiss. “Where were we?”

“Watts! A word.”

Llewellyn had barely lifted his hat to perch it somewhere on the desk before Inspector Brackenreid called for him. Frowning, he followed the inspector into his office, still clutching his hat.

“What can I do for you, inspector?” he asked, fighting the urge to lean on the back of the chair opposite Brackenreid.

With slightly narrowed eyes, Brackenreid sighed at him. “If anyone asks, I didn’t hear anything.”

Llewellyn’s frown deepened. “When?”

“Yesterday.”

“What does that have to do with me?”

“For Christ’s sake, Watts!” Brackenreid exclaimed, before lowering his volume again. “Last night. At Jack Walker’s.”

Llewellyn froze in panic. Every possible outcome sped through his mind. “Inspector, please-”

“Watts. Already said I don’t know anything, don’t make me say anything that proves otherwise. That clear?”

After sucking in a slightly calming breath, Llewellyn nodded. “Perfectly.”

They stood in silence.

“Just… be discreet, Watts.” Brackenreid told him.

“I am,” Llewellyn assured him. “Tha- Thank you, inspector.”

Without a word in response, Brackenreid waved him out.

* * *

Jack frowned as he put his pint glass back on its coaster.

“And he hasn’t said anything? You’re sure?” He quietly asked.

“I certainly wouldn’t be here if he had,” Llewellyn said. “And I doubt you would be either.”

“Huh. Now I didn’t expect that.” Jack remarked.

“Neither did I. But.”

“Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth, I suppose. Maybe I should send Margaret with something extra as thanks…”

Smiling, Llewellyn nudged his foot against Jack’s calf, before happening to glance over his partner’s head and finding himself looking at his oblivious colleagues. He swallowed his nerves.

“Don’t look now. Detective Murdoch and Doctor Ogden have just come in.” he murmured.

“Surely they won’t suspect a thing.” Jack said.

Llewellyn shook his head. “Murdoch was working the case with me, remember? And if he knows about you, so does the doctor.”

“If you’re worried, you could spend a few minutes in the restroom, I doubt they’ll be waiting for a table that long.”

Llewellyn turned thankful, adoring eyes onto Jack.

“Yes. Yes, that’s good,” he said. “I won’t be long.”

After keeping himself in a water closet for five minutes, Llewellyn began to make his way back to his and Jack’s table. When he saw that Murdoch and Ogden were still waiting, he froze for a second, before continuing on.

“Detective Watts?” Ogden’s voice asked.

Slowly, Llewellyn turned. He smiled timidly at the couple. “Doctor Ogden, Detective Murdoch. I… a surprise. Seeing you.”

“I’m as surprised as you, I imagine. Do you come here often?” Murdoch asked, pleasantly.

“Um, no, actually. No, I’m… dining with a friend. An old friend.” Llewellyn replied.

“Oh! That sounds lovely! I hope you’re having a nice evening.” Ogden told him, a smiling spreading sincerely across her face. 

Not trusting himself to speak, Llewellyn nodded.

“Watts. You wouldn’t happen to have room for… some more friends?” Murdoch hesitantly asked, earning himself a reprimanding hit from his wife.

_ “William! _ You can’t just ask that!” Ogden chastised.

Scratching his stubble, Llewellyn sighed. “I’m sorry, detective, but as I said he’s an old friend and we haven’t seen each other in years.”

“Ah, yes, that’s understandable. I probably shouldn’t have asked.” Murdoch assured him.

“Well, enjoy the rest of the night, detective.” Ogden said.

“Yes, yes, same to you both.”

Llewellyn spun on his heel to head back to the table he was sharing with Jack.

“Hey,” Jack greeted as Llewellyn slid into his chair. “You were gone a while. Is everything okay?”

Llewellyn sighed, before nodding. “They know I’m here, I just spoke to them.”

“Oh. What did you tell them?”

“That I’m having dinner with an old friend I haven’t seen in a long time.” Llewellyn paused. “And to enjoy the night.”

Jack leaned forward, as though he might reach out to hold the hand Llewellyn had resting on the table, before clearly remembering the context and leaning back. 

“Well then, we should be okay,” Jack said, smiling. “Look, Llew. Unless it comes up,  _ forget about it _ . Or at least ignore it until it’s not going to impede on dinner.”

Tapping the wood beneath his hand, Llewellyn smiled up at Jack from where he was hunched over.

“A fine idea, Mister Walker.” he agreed, lifting his glass.

They clink glasses and talk over their drinks until their meal comes.

Llewellyn was sitting on a bench outside beside Jack, waiting for Jack’s cab in the dark of the night. They’d been basking in each other’s company on the same bench since long before Jack had called for his ride home.

“I enjoyed this.” Jack commented, turning his soft gaze onto Llewellyn.

Llewellyn huffed. “I suppose you’re overlooking my unnecessary panic.”

Gently, Jack squeezed his leg. “I’m not.”

Llewellyn met his eyes. Slowly, he sighed.

“I wish I could kiss you.” he whispered.

He felt more than saw Jack’s smirk.

“It’s dark. Nobody’s out here.” he pointed out, casually.

Quietly, Llewellyn laughed. “You’re going to get us caught at some point, you know.”

Despite his protest, he leaned forward and chastely kissed Jack’s cheek. He felt himself warm at the smile his action put on Jack’s face.

“Oh! Detective Watts, we meet again!” Ogden’s voice cheerfully announced. 

Llewellyn stiffened. “Yes, it… seems we do.”

At that point, Murdoch joined his wife. 

“Watts. I thought you’d be long gone.” he remarked. 

Llewellyn hummed, before realising that the couple had noticed his companion.

“You’re… Jack Walker? The butcher?” Murdoch asked.

“Indeed I am. I’m glad to meet you again under better circumstances.” Jack replied.

Murdoch furrowed his brow at Llewellyn, and he knew exactly what was coming. 

“You… lied to us?” 

“Yes,” Llewellyn confirmed, rubbing at his jaw. “But… do you blame me?”

“I could.”

_ “William.”  _ Ogden murmured, squeezing her husband’s hand.

When their eyes met, it was as though Ogden had said something without saying it.

“Oh. Well, yes, I’m not blaming you, to make that clear,” Murdoch haltingly continued. “Good evening, gentlemen.”

Ogden stayed where she was as he made his way to the front gate. “I apologise for my husband. You needn’t worry,” she assured the pair sat in front of her. “Enjoy the rest of the night.”

“Thank you, Doctor Ogden,” Llewellyn replied, a little quieter than he usually would speak. “The same to yourself and the detective.”

A shuddering breath left his mouth as Ogden followed after Murdoch, prompting Jack to soothingly rub his hand. Suddenly not caring about what people would see if they were to look, Llewellyn leaned his head onto his partner’s shoulder.


End file.
